Instant, Moose, Pyramid

3 things to inspire 1 story written in 20 minutes. #story320
words/phrase provided by @ciao.katia

“Just come to a meeting, we can give you more details there.”

“Why can’t you just tell me what it is?”

“I could but Simon is much better at explaining this than I am. Also, I want to make sure you’re the right fit and that you feel comfortable with the rest of us.”

“This sounds like some sort of cult or pyramid scheme,” I said.

Ralphie chuckled before answering.

“Simon said people would respond like that. He said most people were afraid to really step out of their comfort zones.”

“Simon said that?”

“Yeah, he’s inspiring and just great. I can’t wait for you to meet him.”

I took a deep breath. I’ve known Ralphie for 20 years and I can’t believe how he isn’t able to hear himself talk. I mean ‘Simon says’? Am I in the Matrix?

“Can you at least tell me the name of the company and what it is you sell or do?”

Now Ralphie took a deep breath, as if secret business was a good idea. Well, drugs, guns, porn, buying and selling sub-prime mortgages, I suppose there aren’t billboards for those businesses and they’ll never file for bankruptcy. But I doubt sweet Ralphie was involved in anything like that.

Ralphie finally answered. “Okay, I’ll tell you the name of the business if you promise to come to one meeting. Deal?”

Jesus.

“Deal, what’s the name of the business?”

“Der Moose.”

“Der Moose?”

“Der Moose.”

“Is it German, like ‘the Moose’?”

“Come to a meeting and you’ll find out.”

Well now I was actually intrigued, not suckered in but intrigued by the suckers and how they could be suckered.

Fast forward to the meeting. It was as expected. The meeting was in a strip mall room, between a dollar store and a “wireless provider.”

The room had a podium at the front, a few folding chairs facing it and a table with powdered doughnuts from a box and coffee.

Behind the podium, against the wall were large wooden crates. The kind that reminded me of Archeologists or the Cartel. The ones you pry open with a crowbar and then immediately zoom into the face of the opener to see their reaction.

The meeting went exactly as expected. A guy with too much gel and an overly large suit clapped and jumped around talking about “instant cash”, “residual income”, “let your money work for you!”

Blah
Blah Blah
Blah Blah Blah
Pyramid Scheme

Finally, with much sweat and grunting, Simon shifted a crate toward us. The name on the side was “Dermmoose.”

Not German but now more intriguing.

He pried open the box to reveal a dead moose carcass and, as he explained, all the tools and materials necessary to taxidermy your own Moose at home.

And at that moment, I thought, this might be something they go for in Canada.

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