Pushy, Collect, Hulking

3 things to inspire 1 story written in 20 minutes. #story320
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She kept insisting that I should purchase a red handkerchief, “handmade and lasts forever.”

Great but I don’t want a handkerchief. I told her this over and again.

I was only in the shop to send a package. In the back of the shop someone, her son I think, was getting the labels and everything.

For waiting customers, the owners had items for purchase on display. There were a number of Nascar hats, greeting cards, various candy bars and energy pills. There were also scarves and handkerchiefs.

A combination of items that I imagined slipped out of the trailers of various trucks.

I had made the mistake of sniffer. The lady jumped at the chance.

“You need this handkerchief, it’s only five dollars.” Then began our dance of the Pushy’s and No’s.

No thank you.

It’s a great deal.

I don’t need a handkerchief. I have Kleenex in the car.

Two for five dollars.

Is he almost done with my package?

Two for five dollars and any candy bar of your choice.

I turned at this point to look at the TV behind me in the upper right corner of the room. It had turned on during our banter.

It was the news. The anchor had on an ill-fitting suit. The studio behind him looked like some back room somewhere. He was finishing coverage on a story about the phenomenal cultural shift towards buying greetings cards for every occasion. The next story was a news break:

“This just in, a new law was passed in California banning the use of tissue. Lobbyists for Kleenex are pushing back. The move toward banning Tissue was inspired by the discontinued use of plastic bags by retail stores across the country. Authorities say that using tissue could result in fines of up to $10,000 and 5 years in prison.”

I looked at the lady, frowning.

The guy from the back came out holding my package. In his hulking frame the golf clubs I was shipping looked like a box of toothpicks.

“Handkerchief is now $50.”

“I don[t want the handkerchief, just the package shipped please.”

The two of them spoke in a language I didn’t understand and realized I was getting squeezed no matter what.

If I wasn’t going to fall for their news story, the package carrying hulk would collect.

I paid for my shipping and purchased a nice handkerchief for $200 U.S. A steal, what with the current tissue ban and all.

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