Badge, Suit, Crushed

3 things to inspire 1 story written in 20 minutes. #story320
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I say hello, that’s what I do. When those automatic doors slide open, parting like some sort of old testament miracle, I lift up my hand and wave. Anyone walking in will be greeted by a cool blast of air upon entrance and a crisp wave with a smile from me, the top Walmart greeter in these United States.

Every morning I thank god for gasoline, Marlboro Reds and every day low, low prices that can’t be beat. I slip on my blue vest and straighten my “welcome to Walmart” badge.

I don’t own a suit or tie, I got three pairs of jeans, two polo shirts, twelve socks, one pair of Nike Air Jordan’s and a blue vest. All from that beautiful store house, the Walmart.

Easiest job in the world and the only job I ever wanted. First time I went to Kmart I thought “god damn this is alright.” First time I went to Target I thought, “wow, it can’t get much better than this.” First time I went to Walmart I said, “as Jesus is Jewish, I’m never leaving this place.”

I got my job that day and kept it. Even after that forklift crushed my right foot. Even after that ranch dressing spill in the refrigerated section made me slip and break my hip. Even after the lawyers told me Walmart wouldn’t cover the cost of my surgeries and rehabilitation.

I’ve still never left Walmart and if you don’t like it I’ll greet you with a smile then tell you to get the fuck out.